Misunderstandings are a common occurrence in most couple relationships, my life being no different. When I look back and when I look around, I see a lot of times fights erupt because of different or mismatching perspectives of looking at the same issue. Yes, these are some of the commonly heard grievances that couples voice out against each other.
“I wish you had understood me better!”
“You made a decision and did not even think once about me?”
“You always have your own ways in our relationship, never thinking once about me.”
A lot of times, these small misunderstandings get blown out of proportion when the accused person refuses to take up supposed responsibility. I am saying “supposed” because it is not yet confirmed that one person is indeed right. Relationships, after all, are a “subjective” affair with no clear right or wrong. It is on the basis of our belief systems, core values, past experiences, upbringing background that we decide the right or wrong in a given situation. The thing to be noted is in a relationship, we are dealing with two different people who can have two different schools of thought.
Best Practices To Solve Couple Misunderstandings
How do you arrive at a consensus or a mutual ground when a misunderstanding emerges between you and your partner? I am sharing the following best practices/principles to solve the misunderstandings that happen unexpectedly in a relationship.
Principle 1: Misunderstandings are Natural and Unavoidable
Principle 2: Cultural Differences are a Breeding Ground for Misunderstandings
Principle 3: Connect-the-Dot Understanding Usually Replaces Real Understanding
Principle 4: Move from Being Right to Being Curious
Principle 5: Ask questions — Lots of Them!
Principle 6: Recognize that We All Speak a Different Language
Principle 7: Be Responsible for making Sure You Understand and are Understood
Principle 8: Don’t Assume Others Will Connect the Dots Accurately
Principle 9: Leave the Assumption Warehouse. Speak Your Experience — Not Your Conclusions.
Principle 10: Tone and Body Language Matter
Principle 11: Don’t Confuse Feelings and Judgements
Principle 12: Stay in Your Green Zone — If You Assume, Assume Benevolence
There’s no way around it, being misunderstood sucks. It can make you feel frustrated, upset, and hopeless. It can feel even worse in times of conflict. I faced this once when the man of the house had 2 men coming unplanned with liquor and after a drinking round, one of them lost their senses. I reacted in that situation and it pained me intensely to see that man found no reason in my distress! Yes, I was partly misunderstood and was not taken seriously. I suffered greatly from that lack of attunement.
This is because one of our deepest needs is for others to understand or tune into us. This desire to be “seen” begins right from our childhood. Take kids, for example: when they play hide-and-seek, they love to be found. Yes, misunderstandings are unavoidable but approaching this situation with the right tools and understanding, you have a great leeway to turn this conflict into a catalyst for connection.
We hope this article helps you form a stronger connection with your partner! Do leave your thoughts in the comments below. For more articles by our Sexual Wellness Expert Pallavi Barnwal, check out Healthy Reads.
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Disclaimer: Reader discretion is advised. This content is for an older, mature audience who seek to improve their health and wellness. GOQii is not responsible for any misrepresentation of this information.

As she drifts between sleep and wakefulness, her mind brings along a sense of dread; just like a faithful pet would bring a rag doll, and wait, panting in anticipation, for her to wake up. Even before she can start to tell the difference between her own snores and the chimes of the alarm clock, the phone nudges her with notifications about the never-ending list of things to be done. She almost falls off her bed, phone in hand, stumbling from one task to another, trying to keep up with the demands of the day. She races against time, determined to make progress. But as the clock ticks on, her attempts to swim through the sea of distractions, hardly seem to work. She finishes her day feeling exhausted, with a nagging sense that very little has been achieved.

Do you eat food peacefully or with worry on your mind? Do you exercise happily or with worry on your mind? Do you also go to bed worried? Are you low on energy through the day and only the thought of outside food or entertainment can cheer you up? Are you unable to overcome worry?
Most of our obstacles to weight loss and health are mental in character. You might say, “mine are not mental, they are real”, perhaps so, but your attitude towards them is clearly mental. “Worry” is the most subtle and destructive of all human diseases. Through “worry”, we have the dangerous ability to manifest diseases, stress, failure, defeat, anger, frustration and depression.
Take a paper and write down all the things that you have and are grateful for. This should come from your heart. When you are done with this, your problems and insecurities will suddenly seem less. When you begin to eliminate worry, your energy levels automatically increase.

