About Divya Thampi

Divya is an Emotional Wellness and Mid-Career Coach. Hugely influenced by Carl Rogers and Robert Fritz, her purpose in life is to help people have better relationships with themselves, with others and live life to the fullest. She is on a mission to help mid-career professionals discover and switch over to the career of their dreams using Emotional Intelligence. She believes that doing work that aligns with who you are at heart, has the power to bring about a palpable shift in the way you feel & the way you show up in this world!

Divya has engaged in over 2000 individual counselling and coaching conversations, helping people make significant life changes. She has hosted 600+ interactive group coaching sessions on Goqii Play, as well as numerous workshops and seminars for other organisations on Emotional health & Wellness. In the last 20 years, she has worked in multiple industries and facilitated training workshops for over 5000 multi-national participants from around the world.

Besides professional work, she is also a runner, fitness enthusiast, an avid reader, writer and a nature lover. Her favourite quote (source unknown) is “In the end, only three things matter: how much you loved, how gently you lived, and how gracefully you let go of things not meant for you."

November 25, 2022 By Divya Thampi 1 Comment

3 Super Simple Ways to Overcome Anxiety Induced Procrastination

procrastination

/prə(ʊ)ˌkrastɪˈneɪʃ(ə)n/

(noun) the action of delaying or postponing something.

Amit wakes up with a feeling of dread. Even before his mind can tell him what is wrong, he can feel anxiety and guilt start to overpower him. Then it registers. He’s woken up late! Yet again!!

He was supposed to wake up at 6, do his yoga, meditate, get a few chores done and get started with work at 8.30 am. Instead, here he was, staring at the hands of the clock insisting that it was 8.30 am, and feeling miserable.

“I have ruined the day before it even started!!” he moans.

Trying to salvage the rest of his day, he quickly brushes his teeth, rushes through part of the morning routine and sits down at his desk at 10 am. As he starts wondering what tasks he needs to get done during the day, his mind comes up with one really important task.

As soon as he gets ready to work on the first task his mind reminds him about the deadline for sending in suggestions for his team meeting. So he closes the file he had opened and goes on to open his email. And before he can get to the email with the attachment he is looking for, he is greeted by the deluge of new unread emails waiting to be opened. His heart beats faster, breath gets quicker and despite the cool morning, his palms get clammy with perspiration.

As he tries to quickly skim through the unread emails, his mind keeps reminding him that he is already behind with the things he’s supposed to get done today and simultaneously points out that had he woken up on time, he would have been done with at least two of these tasks.

Once again, he experiences a surge of hopelessness, guilt and shame wash through him. He gives into the routine of berating himself and thinking of all the times that he has done this before and hears his mind say things like:

“Who are you trying to fool? You know very well that this is who you really are – this lazy, undisciplined, good for nothing failure who is never going to amount to much! Stop telling yourself that you will somehow turn a new leaf, become disciplined overnight and transform into the epitome of efficiency, effectiveness and success. Just accept that this is never going to change. You are destined to live the life of a loser.”

Inexplicably, Amit feels exhausted and turns to his phone and thoughtlessly opens up Instagram. He scrolls down thinking that he will just check out a couple of posts. But the next time he looks at the clock it is already 12 noon. Feeling totally dejected, he decides to have some snacks and polishes off a large packet of wafers in no time. He spends the rest of the day feeling lethargic and getting very little done.

Does all this sound familiar? If it does, you are not alone. Even the most capable and intelligent people experience this every once in a while and more people than you could imagine, deal with this regularly.

But let’s take a closer look at what’s going on here. If you are thinking that the issue is Amit’s habit of waking up late, you are wrong. That is not the primary issue. While good sleep habits are important and need to be managed, life will invariably throw you curveballs that will disrupt your plan one way or the other. In this case, waking up late led to Amit losing about an hour of personal preparation time and 90 minutes of work time, which totals up to 150 minutes. If he had gone on to use the rest of the day well, He would have lost only about 2 hours of productive time. But the issue was that anxiety, guilt and shame overpowered him and made it impossible for him to utilise the rest of his time. And he lost over 5 hours instead of 2.5.

So you see, the biggest problem in most situations is not so much the interruption of plans, but our inability to manage our self talk and the resultant anxiety. Here are 3 simple steps you can take to overcome anxiety induced procrastination.

3 Simple Steps To Overcome Anxiety Induced Procrastination

Three top tasks for the next day: Before you finish for the day, write down the things that you’d like to get done the next day. Now circle the three most important things on the list. Make these very specific. For example, instead of writing “Get started on the report”, you could write “Have the first draft of the report ready”. Now rank them in the order in which you’d like to get it done and write down an approximate amount of time you expect each of these tasks to take. You see, when you are ready to start in the morning, your mind is ready for action mode, but if you give it the job of deciding WHAT TO DO, it is going to take up precious energy and working memory space, leaving very little of the energy and focus to actually get the job done. However, at the end of the day when your mind is still in work mode, it is far easier to think about what you’d like to get done the next day. And the next morning, you can channel all your enthusiasm into working on the tasks.
Tackle the anxiety: If things aren’t panning out the way you planned them to, take a few minutes to become aware of the self talk which tries to thrash you. Acknowledge the need behind the anxiety – The need to get things done. Focus on your breath for a few more minutes and ground yourself. Remind yourself that plans getting waylaid is a common occurrence in every one’s life and as long as you are human, it is going to happen once in a while. Ditch the “All or Nothing” thinking that your mind tries to sell you. Remember that if you were to stay calm, you can still achieve a big part of what you set out to do that day. If you notice the anxiety reappearing, schedule 30 minutes of “worry time” towards the evening – a slot of time where you give a free reign to worry and anxiety. And each time you notice anxious thoughts returning, remind your mind that you can do the worrying during the allocated half an hour, not before or after.
Time your tasks and take breaks: Look at your task list and start with task no 1, with a timer set to half an hour by your side. If your mind comes up with distractive thoughts while you are at the task, note down the thought in your physical or digital notepad so that you can look at it after you have worked on this task for a continuous half an hour. Same applies to any other external distractions you may face. Getting a phone call? Send them a text that you will call them back after half an hour; reminded of an email response you were supposed to send this morning? Jot down a reminder about it on your notepad and get back to the task you were doing. When you have put in a solid half an hour of focus, take a break and do any quick calls or messaging from your notepad list and get back to working on the task for another half an hour with a timer. Keep working with half an hour chunks of time with 5 min breaks in between. This will help your mind remain super focused.

Whether you are a working professional, a student, a consultant, a home maker or an entrepreneur, these steps are applicable to each one of you. Procrastination is not caused by laziness, rather it is the mind’s way of coping with increasing anxiety. The above mentioned steps are healthier ways to overcome anxiety induced procrastination, thus making it possible to take action, and to progress towards your goals.

We hope this article on 3 simple ways to overcome anxiety induced procrastination helps you! Do let us know your thoughts in the comments below! For more articles like this, check out Healthy Reads or tune in to LIVE sessions by our Emotional Wellness Expert Divya Thampi on GOQii Play.

#BeTheForce

October 10, 2022 By Divya Thampi 5 Comments

Let’s Talk About Mental Health

In 2020, we released a study that revealed how 43% Indians are plagued with depression. But surprisingly, even in large metros like Mumbai, awareness of mental health is low, stigma is high and discrimination against people with mental health concerns is a harsh reality. The very recommendation that one should see a therapist or a mental health professional is received with distaste at best and anger at worst.

What is Mental Health?

The world over ‘Mental Health’ week is being observed but do we understand ‘Mental Health’? It is important that we first understand what “Mental Health” means. It does not just refer to the absence of illness, rather it denotes a state of mind that allows people to believe in their abilities, work productively, cope effectively with day to day stressors, reach out for help when feeling overwhelmed, relate to others, and to work towards their highest potential.

While the mental health condition of a person is established by the individual’s ability to manage his/her thoughts, feelings, actions and interactions with others, mental illnesses and disorders are often caused by a combination of factors including social discrimination, lack of protective policies, poor working conditions, poverty, lack of education, below average living standards, abuse (verbal, physical and sexual) and absence of familial or/and social support systems. It is true that certain genetics and specific personality attributes can make people more vulnerable to mental health issues, however contrary to popular belief, these are neither the only nor the most significant contributors to mental illnesses or disorders.

According to a survey conducted nationally, in 2018, on the attitudes towards people affected by mental health concerns, the top three attitudes prevalent in India were found to be the following:

People with mental illness should not be given any responsibility
One of the main causes of mental illness is a lack of self-discipline and will-power
Mentally unhealthy people should have their own groups – healthy people need not be contaminated by them.

If one is diagnosed with cancer or with Malaria, would we ask them to get their act together and get better or expect them to use will-power to cure themselves? In terms of its prevalence and the number of people impacted by it, mental health issues are no different to physical health concerns and they need to be addressed with the same care and concern that is adapted to tackle a physical ailment, rather than with disdain and scorn.

With the existing attitudes, it comes as no surprise that the affected people, as well as the families, refrain from talking about their concerns or seeking the support they need due to the fear of being judged or labelled. But there are changes each of us can make that will help in creating an environment that promotes positive mental health.

Here are four steps you could take to do your bit in reducing social stigma attached to mental health concerns:

1. Educate Yourself About Mental Illnesses

General beliefs that people with mental illness are dangerous or are violent are myths which have unfortunately been propagated by movies. Often people with mental illnesses are victims of violence and abuse themselves. Question every stereotype and treat people with respect, irrespective of their diagnoses.

2. Stop Using Labels

Often people say things like ‘she is depressed’ or ‘he is schizophrenic’. The mental illness that someone deals with, is just one aspect of their lives and not their identity. Hence use language that separates the person from the health issue. For example, we could say “she deals with depression” or “he’s been diagnosed with schizophrenia”. Use language that’s respectful and sensitive.

3. Support People

Remember that people who deal with mental health issues make important contributions to the world. Did you know that Mr. Kjell Magne Bondevik, the ex-Prime Minister of Norway had suffered from a depressive episode in August 1998 while he was still in power? He took some time out to recover and continued as PM till March 2000. Do not judge people to be incompetent or dismiss their capabilities based on a mental health condition they may be suffering from. Treat people with dignity, just like you would like to be treated yourself, had you been in their position. Encourage the actions that your own family members and friends take to overcome mental illness, support their efforts to get well and lead productive lives.

4. Encourage & Initiate Open Discussions

If you yourself have dealt with or are dealing with mental health issues, talk about it. Your courage will help in creating awareness and empower many others. If it is a family member or friend who is dealing with it, talk openly regarding the illness with their permission and in doing so, you will take away the shame attached to it.

The first Director-General of the World Health Organization (WHO), Dr. Brock Chisholm, in 1954, had quite aptly declared that “without mental health, there can be no true physical health.” On this very important day, let’s pledge to do our bit by becoming advocates to reducing the stigma surrounding mental health concerns and promote a world of inclusion and sensitivity.

For more on Mental Health, check out Healthy Reads or tune in to Emotional Wellness Expert Divya Thampi’s classes on GOQii Play.

#BeTheForce

June 18, 2022 By Divya Thampi Leave a Comment

Autism Spectrum Disorder – There’s More To It Than We Know

Photo by Anna Kolosyuk on Unsplash

“Anita starts fondling materials of certain textures, seemingly, without regard for where and on whom the fabric may be located”; “Vansh sometimes asks the same question over and over again, even when he had been given the answer”; “Suhas suddenly starts flapping his arms for no particular reason, and goes on for over five minutes without stopping”

These are descriptions of certain behaviours observed in people/children living with Autism.

The Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD) is not just a single disorder

The word “spectrum” refers to a wide range of symptoms and severity. ASD impacts the way the brain is wired and this difference in wiring can make people in the spectrum good at certain tasks that others find difficult, such as, maths, music or arts. It can also do the opposite, where they find the activities that other people find easy, incredibly difficult, such as socializing and making friends. As per a report published in 2018, one in 59 children will be diagnosed with ASD. Signs usually become evident in children by 2 years of age.

Children/ adults in the spectrum experience difficulties in three main areas – communication, social interaction and behaviour.

Following are some symptoms and types of behaviors seen in people diagnosed with ASD:

Failing to, or being slow to respond to someone calling their name
Resists cuddling and holding and seems to prefer playing alone, retreating into his or her own world.
Makes little eye contact and lacks facial expression
Doesn’t speak or has delayed speech, or loses previous ability to say words or sentences.
Can’t start a conversation or keep one going
Difficulty in understanding simple questions or directions.
Limited or no expression of emotions or feelings and appears unaware of others’ feelings.
Repetitive behaviours like repeating words or phrases.
Intense and lasting interest in certain topics, such as numbers, details, or facts.
Getting upset by slight changes in a routine.
Being more or less sensitive than other people to sensory input, such as light, noise, clothing, or temperature.

The person experiencing Autism Spectrum Disorder has no control over any of these but is often and easily judged by others to be stoic, uncaring, self-centered or many other unkind and unfair ways.

Alongside these symptoms most people experiencing Autism Spectrum Disorder also have to deal with biomedical problems like Seizure disorders, Gastrointestinal disorders, Psychiatric disorders, Metabolic conditions, Sleep irregularities and Obesity. However, these issues often go unaddressed and can aggravate behaviours that seem inappropriate.

As humans, our senses (sight, sound, smell, touch, taste) are constantly sending information to our brain about our surroundings and about other people. This helps us to choose appropriate responses. And yet to cope with situations that feel uncomfortable or chaotic, each of us develop behaviours that help to calm us down, like fidgeting, biting nails or running our hand through the hair. In Autism Spectrum Disorder where the brain and its senses don’t communicate well, the brain can become overwhelmed and confused, impacting how the person sees the world. People in the spectrum may try to cope with a sensory overload like bright lights or loud sounds, smells or touch (which may feel normal to others, but extreme to them) by rocking themselves, flapping hands, swaying, spinning or doing a number of other things. These actions may seem unusual to others but it is just their way of trying to feel calm. When you see them this way, it means that they are having a hard time.

The kind thing to do is NOT to make it harder for them by getting angry, or ignoring or mocking them. Instead they need friends and family who take the time and patience to understand them and support them.

When in the spectrum, one may often have a difficult time understanding and processing societal norms, especially in terms of social interactions. It doesn’t mean that they are immature or that they don’t care. All it means is that sometimes they don’t know how they are supposed to act or respond. Impatience and misunderstanding by others can often leave people in the spectrum, feeling lonely, anxious and isolated.

They are not ill or broken.

They don’t need fixing.

They just have a different way of experiencing things around them and a unique view of the world. Contrary to popular belief people experiencing ASD also have feelings and care for others. They may not be able to pick up sarcasm but often make some of the best and most honest friends.

“I don’t want to be autistic. But I am, so don’t be mad. Be understanding.” – Carly Fleischmann

For more articles on mental health and emotional wellness, check out Healthy Reads.

#BeTheForce

May 24, 2022 By Divya Thampi 1 Comment

Making Sense of Schizophrenia

Schizophrenia is one of the most misunderstood mental disorders in our society. Hence, let’s start with what Schizophrenia is NOT:

It is not split personality or multiple personality disorder
People dealing with schizophrenia are not “Mad”
A vast majority of them are not violent and do not pose a threat to others

With that out of the way,

Let’s Understand What Schizophrenia Is:

It is a major psychotic illness that impacts thoughts, feelings and behavior of individuals. Schizophrenia is in fact, an umbrella like diagnosis used for categorizing a wide range of symptoms, all of which may or may not be experienced by people with this condition.

The experience of schizophrenia is unique to each person. It impacts about 1.1% of the world population i.e. about 51 million people worldwide and symptoms generally start showing up during adolescence or early adulthood.

The Symptoms Include:

Social withdrawal: The person may avoid spending time with others and may prefer being alone.
Loss of Interest & Enthusiasm: There may be reduced sense of enjoyment. Things and activities that used to interest them may no longer give them pleasure.
Disorganized Thinking: Here, the individual switches from one track of thought to another abruptly and without warning. This may seem bizarre and illogical to the listener, and is one of the defining features of schizophrenia.
Delusions: These are beliefs and impressions that seem disconnected with reality. For example, the person may believe that they are part of royalty or in a position of power with special abilities, or that people are plotting revenge against them, or that a catastrophe is about to occur, or that someone is in love with them.
Hallucination: This refers to seeing or hearing things that don’t exist, but for the person experiencing it, it feels very real and vivid. While it could involve the sense of sight, hearing or smell, the most common hallucinations include hearing voices speaking, murmuring or whispering.
Emotional Blunting: This refers to reduced expression of emotion on face, speech and bodily movements. It may appear that there is reduced interest and personal warmth in the individual dealing with schizophrenia.
Cognitive problems: They may have difficulty focusing on any one thing for longer durations and may quickly lose interest when someone is speaking to them. They may forget to do routine things which most of us take for granted and the lack of attention could impact their performance at work, studies and other areas.

Like mentioned earlier, people dealing with Schizophrenia may experience some of the symptoms and may not experience others. Also, the frequency and severity of the symptoms varies from person to person. There may be psychotic episodes where the severity of the symptoms may be more and continue to be severe for the duration of the episode.

The exact cause of schizophrenia has not yet been established. Studies indicate that a combination of genetics, environmental factors and brain chemistry contributes to the development of the disorder.

Schizophrenia is a chronic disorder that requires life-long management, just like in the case of diabetes and blood pressure. While there is no known cure for it, with the right treatment, symptoms can be managed and the individual can lead an independent, productive and meaningful life.

Early diagnosis, the right treatment and adhering to the treatment plan, go a long way in helping people manage the symptoms and live a functional life. A psychiatrist is qualified to diagnose the disorder and treatment is generally a combination of medication and therapy. In many cases the impacted individual may not have the insight that the changes in their behavior are due to a disorder and the family may have to take the initiative to take them for a diagnosis and treatment.

However, the stereotypes about this disorder compounded by the stigma around mental illnesses, often prevent families from reaching out for help, thus aggravating the condition. The impact of the ignorance of this illness is obvious in the statistics which show that 1 out of 10 people who deal with schizophrenia commit suicide and 4 out of 10, at the least attempt suicide.

Being aware of the diagnosis of schizophrenia can be deeply distressing for the individual and they require a supportive environment for recovery. Due to fear, ignorance or awkwardness, friends, family members and others, may be overcautious or insensitive to people who may be dealing with the disorder.

If you have a colleague, friend or a known person who is dealing with the condition, educate yourself about the condition, talk to them, treat them normally and also let them know that you are there to help and support them. The illness can cause the individual to become socially withdrawn and isolated, hence it is important for them to have contact and connection with others.

Initiating conversations with the individuals dealing with schizophrenia, whether it is purely to discuss practicalities or for fostering a connection, is critical for them to be able to lead a normal life and overcome isolation.

Let’s Talk About Mental Health

What is Mental Health?

1. Educate Yourself About Mental Illnesses

2. Stop Using Labels

3. Support People

4. Encourage & Initiate Open Discussions

Autism Spectrum Disorder – There’s More To It Than We Know

The Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD) is not just a single disorder

Following are some symptoms and types of behaviors seen in people diagnosed with ASD:

Making Sense of Schizophrenia

Let’s Understand What Schizophrenia Is:

The Symptoms Include:

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