About Divya Thampi

Divya is an Emotional Wellness and Mid-Career Coach. Hugely influenced by Carl Rogers and Robert Fritz, her purpose in life is to help people have better relationships with themselves, with others and live life to the fullest. She is on a mission to help mid-career professionals discover and switch over to the career of their dreams using Emotional Intelligence. She believes that doing work that aligns with who you are at heart, has the power to bring about a palpable shift in the way you feel & the way you show up in this world!

Divya has engaged in over 2000 individual counselling and coaching conversations, helping people make significant life changes. She has hosted 600+ interactive group coaching sessions on Goqii Play, as well as numerous workshops and seminars for other organisations on Emotional health & Wellness. In the last 20 years, she has worked in multiple industries and facilitated training workshops for over 5000 multi-national participants from around the world.

Besides professional work, she is also a runner, fitness enthusiast, an avid reader, writer and a nature lover. Her favourite quote (source unknown) is “In the end, only three things matter: how much you loved, how gently you lived, and how gracefully you let go of things not meant for you."

July 12, 2023 By Divya Thampi Leave a Comment

Three Powerful Relaxation Techniques For Immediate Relief From Stress

Tight deadlines, erratic working hours and sometimes being unable to manage the work-life balance can take a toll on your health. There are many factors that contribute to stress and if you find yourself feeling sad, anxious, angry, confused or scared without explanation, you are not alone. The specific reasons for stress are as varied as the people themselves but there’s hardly anyone who can escape the clutches of stress. How does one remain grounded and feel a sense of equanimity? Here’s help!

Powerful Relaxation Techniques You Can Practice

Following are three go-to relaxation techniques that therapists use to help their clients relax. Not all techniques may work for everyone but at least one of these should work for you.

1. Progressive Muscle relaxation

This exercise is very effective in lowering stress levels and can also reduce physical problems like headaches or stomachaches that accompany feelings of stress. This practice also improves sleep. When you are stressed your muscles tighten without your conscious awareness. Regular practice of PMR helps you to become aware of the difference between a tensed muscle and a completely relaxed muscle, thus improving your ability to recognize your bodily response to anxiety and mitigate it.

Sit down on a chair with a backrest such that you are sitting erect but not tensed.
Close your eyes and take a few deep breaths.
Once you breath slows down, progressively tighten one muscle group (neck and shoulders or upper arm and lower arm) at a time for about 10-15 seconds.
Once the time is up, release the tension in the muscles completely with a long exhalation and observe the sensation in the relaxed muscles.
Continue this with each muscle group from head to feet.
You could do this 2-3 times a day and even before going to bed.
Avoid doing this with any part where there is a sprain or other injury.

2. Diaphragmatic Breathing

Also known as belly breathing, it is the optimal way of breathing as it actively engages your diaphragm. Belly breathing leads to improved oxygen flow to the rest of the body. This kind of breathing triggers a relaxation response by stimulating the vagus nerve, the longest nerve emanating from the brain. This nerve has a significant role to play in reducing blood pressure, heart rate, improving calmness, relaxation, and digestion. When engaging in breath based meditations most people practice belly breathing. Chest breathing is something we learned to do as a reaction to stress. For belly breathing, follow these steps:

Sit comfortably or lie flat on your bed or any other comfortable surface and relax your shoulders.
Place one hand on your chest and the other on your stomach.
Breathe in through your nose for 2-10 seconds (according to your capacity).
Feel the cool air moving through your nostrils into your abdomen, making your stomach inflate. During this type of breathing, make sure your stomach is moving outward while your chest remains relatively still.
Press gently on your stomach, and exhale slowly for about 2-10 seconds.
With every exhalation you will notice the stomach deflate under your palm
Repeat these steps several times and observe your body relax.

3. Guided Imagery

This is a focused practice that involves all or most of the 5 senses, to kindle calming responses in the mind and the body. Guided imagery uses imagination to take one to a calm, peaceful place, internally. This is a powerful tool that has a positive impact on blood pressure, breathing, oxygenation and heart rate. It can reduce pain and also improve the healing process of the body and mind. Our body reacts the same whether we experience something in reality or imagine it. So when you imagine yourself sitting in a beautiful green meadow and watching a clear stream of water flow over smoothened rocks, your body responds as if you were actually in the meadow.

Sit down or lie down comfortably and close your eyes.
Take a few deep breaths to help you relax.
Imagine a scene that is calm and peaceful. This could be a beach, a meadow, a valley, the mountains or a riverside, according to your preference.
Visualise the scene and slowly add some details, like a gentle breeze, fragrance of the grass, gurgling sound of water or the chirping of birds. Is the sky a clear blue or do you see fluffy white clouds?
It helps to visualise you walking through the scene and experiencing the beauty and serenity using all your senses.
And as you walk through the scene and go deeper you feel more and more relaxed.
Continue to breathe slowly and experience the sense of peace that envelops your body and mind. Think of a word or sound that you can use in the future to help you mentally return to this place.
When you feel ready, gently bring yourself back to the present. Tell yourself that you will feel relaxed and refreshed when this is done and slowly open your eyes. Notice how you feel right now.
You could also use a recorded guided imagery audio, which is generally available on many of the free versions of meditation apps.

If these techniques helped you, let us know in the comments below! Find more articles to help you manage stress here. For further guidance on managing stress and lifestyle, speak to a certified expert by subscribing to GOQii’s Personalised Health Coaching.

#BeTheForce

May 24, 2023 By Divya Thampi 1 Comment

Making Sense of Schizophrenia

Schizophrenia is one of the most misunderstood mental disorders in our society. Hence, let’s start with what Schizophrenia is NOT:

It is not split personality or multiple personality disorder
People dealing with schizophrenia are not “Mad”
A vast majority of them are not violent and do not pose a threat to others

With that out of the way,

Let’s Understand What Schizophrenia Is:

It is a major psychotic illness that impacts thoughts, feelings and behavior of individuals. Schizophrenia is in fact, an umbrella like diagnosis used for categorizing a wide range of symptoms, all of which may or may not be experienced by people with this condition.

The experience of schizophrenia is unique to each person. It impacts about 1.1% of the world population i.e. about 51 million people worldwide and symptoms generally start showing up during adolescence or early adulthood.

The Symptoms Include:

Social withdrawal: The person may avoid spending time with others and may prefer being alone.
Loss of Interest & Enthusiasm: There may be reduced sense of enjoyment. Things and activities that used to interest them may no longer give them pleasure.
Disorganized Thinking: Here, the individual switches from one track of thought to another abruptly and without warning. This may seem bizarre and illogical to the listener, and is one of the defining features of schizophrenia.
Delusions: These are beliefs and impressions that seem disconnected with reality. For example, the person may believe that they are part of royalty or in a position of power with special abilities, or that people are plotting revenge against them, or that a catastrophe is about to occur, or that someone is in love with them.
Hallucination: This refers to seeing or hearing things that don’t exist, but for the person experiencing it, it feels very real and vivid. While it could involve the sense of sight, hearing or smell, the most common hallucinations include hearing voices speaking, murmuring or whispering.
Emotional Blunting: This refers to reduced expression of emotion on face, speech and bodily movements. It may appear that there is reduced interest and personal warmth in the individual dealing with schizophrenia.
Cognitive problems: They may have difficulty focusing on any one thing for longer durations and may quickly lose interest when someone is speaking to them. They may forget to do routine things which most of us take for granted and the lack of attention could impact their performance at work, studies and other areas.

Like mentioned earlier, people dealing with Schizophrenia may experience some of the symptoms and may not experience others. Also, the frequency and severity of the symptoms varies from person to person. There may be psychotic episodes where the severity of the symptoms may be more and continue to be severe for the duration of the episode.

The exact cause of schizophrenia has not yet been established. Studies indicate that a combination of genetics, environmental factors and brain chemistry contributes to the development of the disorder.

Schizophrenia is a chronic disorder that requires life-long management, just like in the case of diabetes and blood pressure. While there is no known cure for it, with the right treatment, symptoms can be managed and the individual can lead an independent, productive and meaningful life.

Early diagnosis, the right treatment and adhering to the treatment plan, go a long way in helping people manage the symptoms and live a functional life. A psychiatrist is qualified to diagnose the disorder and treatment is generally a combination of medication and therapy. In many cases the impacted individual may not have the insight that the changes in their behavior are due to a disorder and the family may have to take the initiative to take them for a diagnosis and treatment.

However, the stereotypes about this disorder compounded by the stigma around mental illnesses, often prevent families from reaching out for help, thus aggravating the condition. The impact of the ignorance of this illness is obvious in the statistics which show that 1 out of 10 people who deal with schizophrenia commit suicide and 4 out of 10, at the least attempt suicide.

Being aware of the diagnosis of schizophrenia can be deeply distressing for the individual and they require a supportive environment for recovery. Due to fear, ignorance or awkwardness, friends, family members and others, may be overcautious or insensitive to people who may be dealing with the disorder.

If you have a colleague, friend or a known person who is dealing with the condition, educate yourself about the condition, talk to them, treat them normally and also let them know that you are there to help and support them. The illness can cause the individual to become socially withdrawn and isolated, hence it is important for them to have contact and connection with others.

Initiating conversations with the individuals dealing with schizophrenia, whether it is purely to discuss practicalities or for fostering a connection, is critical for them to be able to lead a normal life and overcome isolation.

April 27, 2023 By Divya Thampi 3 Comments

4 Reasons Why Affirmations Are Not Working For You

Affirmations are statements that firmly declare a positive intention, stated as a truth, so as to make these thoughts a part of your reality. For example, someone who wants to improve their physical health may use affirmations like “I am healthy and well”, “I radiate good health” or “I love feeling fit and strong” or all of them. Generally, affirmations are used repetitively at certain times of the day.

The idea behind using affirmations is to bring about a shift in our thoughts and beliefs. We humans have approximately 60000 thoughts in a single day and more often than not, we are unaware of our thoughts, they just stream through our minds constantly. What we think repeatedly and frequently slowly becomes our beliefs. And beliefs have the power to change reality. Thus, by influencing our thoughts, affirmations have the power to change our beliefs and reality.

How Do Affirmations Work?

In a study, individuals diagnosed with Anorexia Nervosa (an eating disorder characterized by an abnormally low body weight, an intense fear of gaining weight and a distorted perception of weight) were asked to walk through a doorway that became increasingly narrower. They found that these individuals started turning their body when the doorway was 40% wider than their shoulders while another set of individuals, without the diagnosis, turned only when the doorway was 25% wider than their shoulders. This pointed to the self-talk of the diagnosed individuals which made them believe that they were physically bigger than they actually were. In another study a group of patients who were due for a surgical procedure of the knee for osteoarthritis were divided into 2 groups. One went through the surgery while the other had a sham surgery i.e they had an incision made on their knee and the procedure was faked so that these patients believed that a surgery had been performed on them. The results were amazing because both the groups recovered equally. This is proof that the human mind has the power to make things happen if it believes in them.

Due to something called negativity bias (the tendency to focus on potential threats and difficulties) we humans tend to focus on negative aspects of our day to day life. When affirmations are used correctly, they can slowly replace the negative thoughts and help our mind to focus on not just what’s going well but seed the image of a reality that fits with our hopes and wishes.

Affirmation can slowly become a subconscious part of our thinking and belief system and the changes we wish to make in our lives will happen effortlessly. This sounds really simple and effective. Then why doesn’t it work as effectively for some?

Reasons Why They Fail Sometimes, And What To Do About It

Here are 4 reasons why their efficacy may be low for some:

Contradicting practice – Many people may repeat the affirmations verbally or in writing once a day but say things and behave in ways that contradict these affirmations. For example, someone who wants to get a great job may be using affirmations like “I see myself in my dream job” for 10 minutes in the morning but for the rest of the day may be saying things like “It is tough times and jobs are not easy to come by” or “With my qualifications I don’t know if I can get a job I want.” Pay attention to your day today thoughts and words and use them in ways that match with the affirmations.
Not focusing emotionally – A very important factor for the affirmations to work is that one should focus on experiencing the feelings that come with the affirmative thought. We may be parroting the words without truly focusing and thus failing to generate the emotion. Positive emotion is the fuel that will push your desires to reality.
Using future tense – The affirmations have to be in present tense. If you use an affirmation like “I will be healthy and fit” your subconscious mind will always see it as something that is supposed to happen in the future, a future that never arrives. Affirmations in present tense allow you to not only picturize the possibility but also help you in experiencing the feelings that would accompany the accomplishment.
Framing affirmations negatively – Many of us find it easier to talk about what we don’t like or don’t want in our lives and this may lead to people using affirmations the same way. However, our mind thinks in images and finds it difficult to process negative words, so replace an affirmation like “I don’t feel angry all the time” with “I feel calm and at peace”.

Affirmations have the power to change your habitual thinking and alter your beliefs for the better. Come up with affirmations for 2-3 areas of your life where you want to see changes. As you continue to use these affirmations correctly and consistently, your mind will come up with ways to make them come true and attract the exact opportunities required to fulfill your dreams.

We hope you enjoyed this article. For more by our emotional wellness expert Divya Thampi, check out Healthy Reads or tune in to her sessions on GOQii Play.

#BeTheForce

April 2, 2023 By Divya Thampi Leave a Comment

Autism Spectrum Disorder – There’s More To It Than We Know

Photo by Anna Kolosyuk on Unsplash

“Anita starts fondling materials of certain textures, seemingly, without regard for where and on whom the fabric may be located”; “Vansh sometimes asks the same question over and over again, even when he had been given the answer”; “Suhas suddenly starts flapping his arms for no particular reason, and goes on for over five minutes without stopping”

These are descriptions of certain behaviours observed in people/children living with Autism.

The Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD) is not just a single disorder

The word “spectrum” refers to a wide range of symptoms and severity. ASD impacts the way the brain is wired and this difference in wiring can make people in the spectrum good at certain tasks that others find difficult, such as, maths, music or arts. It can also do the opposite, where they find the activities that other people find easy, incredibly difficult, such as socializing and making friends. As per a report published in 2018, one in 59 children will be diagnosed with ASD. Signs usually become evident in children by 2 years of age.

Children/ adults in the spectrum experience difficulties in three main areas – communication, social interaction and behaviour.

Following are some symptoms and types of behaviors seen in people diagnosed with ASD:

Failing to, or being slow to respond to someone calling their name
Resists cuddling and holding and seems to prefer playing alone, retreating into his or her own world.
Makes little eye contact and lacks facial expression
Doesn’t speak or has delayed speech, or loses previous ability to say words or sentences.
Can’t start a conversation or keep one going
Difficulty in understanding simple questions or directions.
Limited or no expression of emotions or feelings and appears unaware of others’ feelings.
Repetitive behaviours like repeating words or phrases.
Intense and lasting interest in certain topics, such as numbers, details, or facts.
Getting upset by slight changes in a routine.
Being more or less sensitive than other people to sensory input, such as light, noise, clothing, or temperature.

The person experiencing Autism Spectrum Disorder has no control over any of these but is often and easily judged by others to be stoic, uncaring, self-centered or many other unkind and unfair ways.

Alongside these symptoms most people experiencing Autism Spectrum Disorder also have to deal with biomedical problems like Seizure disorders, Gastrointestinal disorders, Psychiatric disorders, Metabolic conditions, Sleep irregularities and Obesity. However, these issues often go unaddressed and can aggravate behaviours that seem inappropriate.

As humans, our senses (sight, sound, smell, touch, taste) are constantly sending information to our brain about our surroundings and about other people. This helps us to choose appropriate responses. And yet to cope with situations that feel uncomfortable or chaotic, each of us develop behaviours that help to calm us down, like fidgeting, biting nails or running our hand through the hair. In Autism Spectrum Disorder where the brain and its senses don’t communicate well, the brain can become overwhelmed and confused, impacting how the person sees the world. People in the spectrum may try to cope with a sensory overload like bright lights or loud sounds, smells or touch (which may feel normal to others, but extreme to them) by rocking themselves, flapping hands, swaying, spinning or doing a number of other things. These actions may seem unusual to others but it is just their way of trying to feel calm. When you see them this way, it means that they are having a hard time.

The kind thing to do is NOT to make it harder for them by getting angry, or ignoring or mocking them. Instead they need friends and family who take the time and patience to understand them and support them.

When in the spectrum, one may often have a difficult time understanding and processing societal norms, especially in terms of social interactions. It doesn’t mean that they are immature or that they don’t care. All it means is that sometimes they don’t know how they are supposed to act or respond. Impatience and misunderstanding by others can often leave people in the spectrum, feeling lonely, anxious and isolated.

They are not ill or broken.

They don’t need fixing.

They just have a different way of experiencing things around them and a unique view of the world. Contrary to popular belief people experiencing ASD also have feelings and care for others. They may not be able to pick up sarcasm but often make some of the best and most honest friends.

“I don’t want to be autistic. But I am, so don’t be mad. Be understanding.” – Carly Fleischmann

For more articles on mental health and emotional wellness, check out Healthy Reads.

#BeTheForce