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May 12, 2022 By Divya Thampi 1 Comment

The One Practice That Can Change Your Life

As she drifts between sleep and wakefulness, her mind brings along a sense of dread; just like a faithful pet would bring a rag doll, and wait, panting in anticipation, for her to wake up. Even before she can start to tell the difference between her own snores and the chimes of the alarm clock, the phone nudges her with notifications about the never-ending list of things to be done. She almost falls off her bed, phone in hand, stumbling from one task to another, trying to keep up with the demands of the day. She races against time, determined to make progress. But as the clock ticks on, her attempts to swim through the sea of distractions, hardly seem to work. She finishes her day feeling exhausted, with a nagging sense that very little has been achieved.

If such stress laden days, sound all too familiar, you are not alone. But knowing that many of us feel this way, hardly brings any reprieve from reality. However, one simple daily practice has the potential to change this experience quite drastically.

How Would You Like Your Day To Begin?

Before we talk about that practice, let’s look at what kind of day we would ideally like to spend – Personally, I would like to wake up feeling rested and refreshed, feeling excited and hopeful and in spite of the zillion things that need to be completed during the day, I would like to feel at peace with myself. Does that resonate with you? If it does, read ahead!

What’s That ONE Thing?

The one activity that could change the way we start and end our day, is Meditation. According to the Buddhist definition ‘Meditation practices are techniques that encourage and develop concentration, clarity, emotional positivity, and a calm seeing of the true nature of things.’

It is the one activity which will not change the circumstances or the people of your life, but has the potential to change the weather inside your mind. In 10 to 20 minutes, it could help your internal weather to change from grey, cloudy and chilly to pleasantly sunny, warm and hopeful. 

How Meditation Helps!

When you meditate regularly, you get better at holding your attention in the present moment. This automatically leads to less distraction. It also improves your ability to process sensory information. Personally, I find myself more capable of holding back angry retorts and loosening the hold of obsessive thoughts, much more now than when meditation was not a part of my life. This is not surprising given the research which shows that regular meditation enlarges the pre-frontal cortex (the part of the brain responsible for logical thinking, and decision making) and reduces the Amygdala activation (the key brain structure known as the emotional or fear center of the brain), leading to improved emotional regulation! According to Dr. Keith Holden, in his book “Power of the mind in health and healing”- “Regular meditation may even help prevent age-related brain atrophy, which has the potential to protect against memory loss and improve brain function as you age.”

In broader terms, a regular meditation practice helps you feel better about yourself, bring more harmony in your relationships, develop your ability to perform better at work, improve your creative thinking and foster the ability to stay calm in the face of uncertainty, not to mention adding to your overall sense of wellbeing.meditation

Yes, You Are Already Good At It! 

Before I started practicing meditation, I used to think that it is meant for people who have a lot of time at hand. For someone who has retired from work life for instance, or someone who doesn’t have much to do. But I couldn’t be farther from the truth on both fronts! (being retired from work life doesn’t mean one is not busy). Meditation is beneficial for every single one of us. The busier you are, the more beneficial it is for you. You may not realise it, but whenever you are in a state of “flow” i.e. when you feel happily engrossed in a task, that you feel competent to do, and enjoy doing – you are meditating; you are meditating on that one task, with absolute focused attention and there’s this feeling of being in a different plane. You are meditating every time you sleep deeply. So, you are already practicing certain forms of meditation in your life and are good at it. Hence saying that “meditation is not my cup of tea” doesn’t hold water (or tea).

Conclusion

There’s no aspect of your life that goes untouched by the benefits of meditation. As an emotional wellness coach and counsellor, I get to hear hundreds of mental health concerns from people on a regular basis. No matter what the complaints are, meditation almost always features in the list of ways in which people can overcome those issues and move towards short term and long mental wellness. So, when do you plan to start?

We hope this article helps you! If you want to begin your meditation practice, check out some interesting articles on Healthy Reads. To get more meditation tips from a certified expert, subscribe to personalized coaching here: https://goqiiapp.page.link/bsr

#BeTheForce 

March 3, 2022 By Divya Thampi Leave a Comment

The Unexpected Cause Of Ageing And Stress

ageing and stress

Have you ever looked at yourself in the mirror and been surprised at the ever-increasing wrinkles or the swiftness with which the salt in your hair seems to be overtaking the pepper? Have you found yourself feeling tired at the end of a not so busy day? Found yourself hating the thought of Mondays and eagerly waiting for Saturdays every week? If you have, then you are not alone. There’s a huge percentage of population in their late 30s and 40s who feel stuck in their current jobs despite it seeming like they are living a successful life.

So you followed the life script of studying hard to get good scores, scrambling to get placed in the best of companies, chose your life partner carefully (or your family helped you with that), went on to have kids as per every one’s expectation and suddenly you are here with what looks like a happy family, decent lifestyle, a good designation at work,  month on month salary, plus that void that you feel in your chest. That void is the only thing no one warned you about. Hence, not only are you at a stage in life where it feels like you are living someone else’s dreams but you experience pangs of guilt for feeling so deflated and dissatisfied.

Recently, while watching an interview of Dr. John Demartini, a world-renowned business consultant and author, the interviewer asked this wise 66 year old speaker for the secret to his youth and without blinking an eyelid he replied “I live in congruence with my highest values and that maintains my vitality at the peak levels”. It was a bulb on moment for me. This highly successful man who could easily pass off as a 40 year old, didn’t talk about his diet, his workout regimen or his skin care routine when asked about his youth. He spoke about his values and priorities instead! He said that he lives his life in congruence with his most important values and spends his time doing the things that he feels passionate about.

And the absence of that is the exact hidden cause of ageing and stress. When we are living life in a way that is in NOT in sync with what we value most, we are easily overcome with distraction, boredom and frustration. When we are doing things that don’t match our values, we are not playing our ‘A’ game and this leads us to second guessing our own motivations and capabilities. While confidence and enthusiasm evades us, we feel like fakes and suffer from the imposter syndrome. And is that surprising? No! If we are not doing the things we value most, we are being fake (though not deliberately) and trying to do things that doesn’t fit with who we truly are!

So, are you living a life of congruence? The gauge for whether you are or not is your level of satisfaction and enthusiasm in your day to day life. But, in case you are not living such a life of authenticity, don’t despair! Here are 5 questions you can ask yourself which will help you to get some clarity about what are those things that you value most and what your true priorities are.

Make sure that you give yourself an undistracted 30 minutes to read through and reflect on these questions because this could change the way you see yourself and your life ahead. Adapted from Dr. Demartini’s methodology, following are the five questions:

  1. Look at your physical surroundings at home and observe the three things that you tend to surround yourself with. You have to choose three. Are they your work material? Or books on poetry? Or paintings that depict nature? Or is it clothes and accessories? Or maybe somethings to do with a particular sport? Or photographs of your loved ones?
  2. What 3 things do you spend most of your time and energy on? Is it your workout regimen? Or music? Or reading about astrology? Or watching programs/videos on a certain topic? Or maybe it is socializing with friends? Or may be checking out recipes or cooking something new? Or is it solving people’s problems? Or on having the right look? Or it is financial planning?
  3. What are the 3 things that you spend most amount of money on? Leaving aside the basic necessities of life that are needed for survival, what things do you end up spending your money on and feel excited every time you are about to buy it? There may be things that you may be spending money on reluctantly, those don’t count.
  4. What are the top three things that you think most about? Whenever you are not focusing on an assigned task, where does your mind drift to? What does it spend a lot of time automatically focusing on and feeling energized about?
  5. What are the areas in your life where you are most disciplined and organized? You may think of yourself as a disorganized and undisciplined, but there are areas where you are neither. It could be the way you organize your work files or the way you maintain your shoes and clothes or the way you plan your holidays or the way you organize meetings. You will have to think a little to identify these areas because they exist.

When you answer these questions, you will see certain areas/ aspects that show up repeatedly. While it is important that you answer these questions in one sitting, keep reading them and going through the questions and answers over a few days or weeks because the real responses will emerge over a period of time. The list you thus form, are your true priorities and the things that you value most. Consider deliberately thinking more about those areas and how you can live by those values and watch your life change for the better. So, what are you waiting for? Let’s get started!

We hope this article helps you. Do let us know your thoughts in the comments below! For more articles like this, check out Healthy Reads or tune in to sessions by our Emotional Wellness Expert Divya Thampi on GOQii Play.

#BeTheForce 

January 28, 2022 By Parwage Alam 2 Comments

7 Positive Habits To Have An Incredible Day

positive dayHow many times have you woken up wondering what your day is going to be like? Given the current scenario, your thoughts are clouded with the pandemic, infections and to top it off the pending office work, assignments, presentations and meetings you probably don’t want to attend. In the turmoil of these menacing thoughts, the thing you forget to focus on the most is being positive!

All the thoughts perceived as negative spike your cortisol (the hormone that leads to bad stress) levels. If your day starts on a negative note, it is certainly guaranteed that the rest of your day is going to be the same. What you do and think during the first few hours after waking up can impact your mood, routine and productivity.

It is important that your morning routine starts on a good note. Follow these simple strategies when you wake up and you’ll be all geared to be positive and happy!

1. Rest Well To Be Positive & Happy

Sleep plays a vital role in good health and well-being throughout your life. Getting enough quality sleep at the right time can help protect your mental and physical health, quality of life, and safety. Sleep is just as important as eating and drinking water. Despite this, millions of people do not sleep enough and experience insane problems as a result.

The way you feel while you’re awake depends partly on how you have slept or what kind of sleep you have had. During sleep, your body is working to support healthy brain functions and maintain your physical health.

2. Prayer & Meditation to Facilitate Clarity and Abundance

Once you wake up after a healthy 7+ hours of sleep, prayer and meditation are crucial for orienting yourself towards positive thinking.

Nothing can be better than meditating for 10 min in a day for a healthy mind. Meditation can transform the mind. It doesn’t mean that you have to sit in a particular posture and focus on any single point. The definition of meditation is different for different people. If you ask me, meditation is the art of focusing our attention (100%) in one area.

MRI brain scans of people who meditate has shown an increase in activity around areas that control metabolism and heart rate. Some studies on Buddhist Monks have shown that meditation produces long-lasting changes in the brain activity in areas involving attention, working memory, learning, and conscious perception.

3. Sniff Your Way Awake

Most of us start our day with a morning wash which helps us open our eyes properly. Similarly, the scent you wash with can have a big effect on your mood, says Art Markman, Ph.D., the author of Smart Change. Research suggests Lavender can help you relax, mint can stimulate your brain, and citrus can reduce stress. Scrub and sniff away.

Over and above, a cold shower is more beneficial. Cold water immersion radically facilitates physical and mental wellness. Regular use of Cold water for shower provides long-lasting changes to our body’s immune, lymphatic, circulatory and digestive systems that improve our quality of life.

4. Get Up & Move More!

Exercise is extremely important for a healthy lifestyle. If you’re healthy, you can devote a 100% to any task. Kickstart your day with some good physical activity. Exercise decreases your chances of depression, anxiety and stress as it helps your body release endorphins which are good for you!

5. Take 2 Mins to Thank Someone

There is no harm in thanking someone for their presence in your life. People are magnets. When you’re grateful for what you have, you will attract more positivity and good. Gratitude is contagious. Gratitude may be the most important key to success. It has been called the mother of all virtues. Begin your day by putting yourself in a position of gratitude, you will attract the best that the world has to offer.

6. Listen to Something Uplifting

Everyone loves music! It’s one of the best ways to boost your mood. Personally, I love listening to old Bollywood or Sufi music and whenever possible, I use an alarm that actually plays music.

Music helps you find some relief from stress and if you start your day with such a great medicine – think how the rest of your day will pan out. If you listen to inspirational/uplifting material right when you wake up, then you will eventually condition that message into your mind and connect it with waking up in the morning.

7. Lighten Up The News

I personally try to avoid news channels in the morning in order to avoid any negative content I may come across. If you start your day with negative news, you may think about it for the rest of the day. Try something more motivational or positive. If you read stories that inspire you or make you happy, you’re guaranteed to have a fabulous day. Try creating a bank of motivational videos and begin your day with them.

This has been my personal experience and it has never led me astray! Try these very simple routines and gear up for success. Most importantly, begin your day with a smile!

Hope this helps! Do share your thoughts in the comments below! For more on mental health and emotional wellness, check out Healthy Reads or get these tips directly from your coach by subscribing for personalized health coaching here: https://goqiiapp.page.link/bsr

#BeTheForce 

January 5, 2022 By Divya Thampi Leave a Comment

What I Learned About Bringing A Real Change In Self

It wasn’t long ago that two of us friends visited a common friend and her family. As we all got chatting on a particularly interesting topic, I grew excited and participated enthusiastically. Everyone seemed to have a good time and I went back in good spirits pondering about some of the things we spoke about.

A few weeks later the friend who had accompanied me for the visit, gently pointed out to me that I had dominated the conversation that evening; chiming in more often than was necessary, cutting off others in my enthusiasm. As he shared his observation, I could feel the blood rushing to my head. Every cell in my body demanded that I put this friend in his place by giving free reign to the hurtful words that awaited their release from the tip of my tongue.

All through the din of my internal battle drums, a very quiet voice from somewhere close to my heart, stopped me. It calmly pointed out that may be this friend was not so completely wrong. But I still hadn’t reached a place of unconditional self-acceptance so as to receive such feedback with grace and gratitude. I was foaming at the mouth instead.

Just about managing to hold back the venom that was ready to spew through my words, I sat through the next 5 minutes in stoic silence letting my loving friend squirm in discomfort, though he deserved better for his courage and honesty. With the passing of minutes I managed to calm down sufficiently to be decent to him. We even managed to finish our coffee and share a few smiles before going off our different ways.

That evening I sat with my journal painfully writing down an honest account of what had happened on that particular evening — the evening of the get- together, when I was supposed to have been behaving like a self-centred loud mouth. As I sifted through the scenes, it became clear that my friend had been spot on in his feedback.

As all of us had engaged in discussing and debating on an interesting topic, I had kept pushing my point of view, expressing my thoughts and increasing my volume just a wee bit, enough to suppress any attempts by others to oppose me, not pausing for breath; almost as if I was scared that if I paused someone may take my place as the Prima donna.

I remembered observing and ignoring fleeting expressions of frustration and impatience on the listeners faces, as they experienced themselves being cut off half way through their sentences. I recalled the grace with which they chose to listen to me rather than express their irritation. I even remember having the nagging feeling that I should stop, slow down, pause and let others participate, but something kept egging me on. This “something” is what I was scared to confront. Because according to my judgment this “something” — the need to feel important, made me a pathetic person.

I felt embarrassment and anger course through me — Embarrassment about my appalling behaviour and anger towards myself for not doing better. After a few hours of internal battle, I came out relatively unscathed, resolving to work on changing my behaviour. I am glad to say that I have made progress since then.

As I looked back on that evening of introspection and asked – why was the experience so painful? What was it that helped me come out a better person, through it? This is what I learnt.

I had experienced shame and anger at the beginning because I had been judgmental about myself, telling myself that I was expected to be thoughtful and considerate at all times. Effectively I was holding myself up to standards that I may never be able to live up to — of not making mistakes. However after calming down with a few deep breaths, I had told myself what I tell many of my clients, who are trying to bring about change in themselves — You are more than your words and actions; acknowledging a flaw in a behaviour does not imply that you are a bad person. I had practiced with great difficulty what I preach to my clients — self-compassion and self-love.

I had held myself lovingly through the pain of knowing that in those moments I must have behaved like a selfish inconsiderate idiot, but had also assured myself that I still wasn’t any of that; that it was a behaviour demonstrated in a moment of ignorance and poor judgment; that I was capable of bringing about change. I had reminded myself that pain is the strongest indicator of growth.

Self-compassion and self-love had saved the day. And I will admit that it is not always easy to practice these. I had help — help in the form of all those friends and family who, in my life journey, not only showed me compassion but also let me know that I was loved, through my moments of weakness and strength; help in the form of those masters and authors who made themselves the instrument of change and generously laid out their life experiments for others like me, to learn from; help in the form of clients who dug deep into their being, to come up with the courage to care for themselves despite their flaws. I was grateful to them for allowing me to witness the transformation they brought in themselves with such love, for instilling in me the confidence that true personal growth needs a mix of honesty, courage, love and self-compassion and for giving me the inspiration to grow.

As I write this I wish and hope that more of us can practice self-compassion and self-love because we need it, we deserve it and because I am convinced that the only way we can bring about substantial change and growth in ourselves, is through love and compassion.

#BeTheForce 

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