GOQii

Blog

  • HOME
  • HEALTHY LIVING
  • FITNESS
  • HEALTHY RECIPES
  • USER STORIES
  • KARMA
  • BUY GOQii

January 22, 2021 By Pallavi Barnwal Leave a Comment

Is Your Relationship Abusive?

abusive relationship

Shweta Mishra, aged 21, met her ex-boyfriend at a friend’s party. They soon became close and started seeing each other. The guy had recently gotten out of one relationship and used to get very abusive at times. He would get drunk and talk about his ex-girlfriend which badly affected her self-esteem, to the point where she started considering herself ugly. He would also call her names and say that she was with him only because she wanted money. She started doubting her own attractiveness and self-worth slowly. His abusive behaviour did not end there. He would get jealous if she talked to any other guy and even forbid her to talk to the attractive ones.

He would try to touch her inappropriately when he was drunk which she detested. One day, it got much worse than the other days. He was badly drunk and started touching her inappropriately. She had started hating the smell of alcohol to the point that it made her nauseous. She said a repeated no but he went on groping her. That night she had the worst breakdown ever. The worst part was that he blamed her for being frigid and difficult the next day and told her that now she would make him the bad guy.

Shweta started having a series of breakdowns where she would hate herself. She started scratching herself as she felt ‘dirty’ and ‘ugly’. She would feel his face on her body and want to cut herself. Finally, she decided to walk out of the relationship to preserve herself. But even after months, she still has trust-issues in relationships. She had several episodes of breakdowns even after that when she hurt herself to ease the pain.

Does the above scenario sound familiar? Have you been mistaking an abusive relationship for ‘love’? If so, read on.

Love in young age is full of hormones, tumultuous changes, confusion and chaos. Adolescents and young adults often find themselves lost when it comes to finding out information on safe sex practices or healthy relationships. Popular media promotes eve-teasing, stalking, possessiveness and ownership behaviour as ‘love’. With increasing peer pressure to have a girlfriend or a boyfriend, a young mind which is already grappling with questions of self-worth is seduced with the idea of having someone as a partner. Most victims choose to continue being in abusive relationships just to avoid the shame of ‘breaking-up’. The communication gap between parents and children while growing up makes the situation even more difficult.

So how do you recognise these signs of abuse?

Emotional abuse or psychological abuse is categorized by a pattern of behaviour that leaves another person feeling isolated, degraded or worthless. It is a way for the abuser to maintain power and control in the relationship. Psychological pain can be just as bruising as a slap or punch, even if it leaves no physical mark. Let us talk about these in detail.

  • Intimidation: can be subtle and includes veiled or indirect threats. The partner could be watching each movement, checking on your whereabouts, checking your phone or springing up on you unexpectedly. This can have a damaging effect on a person’s overall sense of safety and lead to anxiety.
  • Explicit Threats: Sometimes, intimidation is not so subtle. We all know the infamous acid attacks on the victims who had the courage to say no to their spurned lovers. There are far too many instances of the partner threatening the girl with self-harm or suicide in case she leaves him.
  • Slut Shaming: This is another form of abuse which could leave the abused trapped, unwanted and ashamed. ‘If you don’t go out with me, I will tell everyone what we did in bed.’ Worse, the abuser could get explicit photos or videos of the abused and blackmail the partner into doing things they might not be ready for.
  • Name Calling: Abuser might call the partner ugly, fat, dark, stupid or similar such which eventually leads them to believe that it is true. The sense of self in teenage years is still fragile and such behaviour might lead to withdrawal and depression.
  • The Silent Treatment: Sometimes the abuser might use non-communication as a form of punishment to coerce the other partner. They might completely ignore the partner till they give in to their wishes. There are abusers who refuse to acknowledge the presence of their partners in public and are responsive when alone.
  • Constant Criticism: ‘You can’t wear that!’ or ‘You cannot hang out with those friends’ or ‘You cannot go there’ is something which abusers use to erode the self-esteem of the other person. This may make one feel unacceptable and feel bad about themselves.
  • Sexual Abuse: Any sexual contact or activity with an intimate partner that makes a person feel uncomfortable, with the purpose of controlling through fear, threats, coercion, manipulation or violence. This may be with or without the presence of physical violence at the time of the act or within the relationship. These happen mostly as there is lack of parental consent and the victims do not want to talk about it due to fear, guilt and shame. The victims could be both men and women, young adults who are in same-sex relationship, all ages – tween and upwards. Most such victims who were forced to have sex are less likely to use condoms. The perpetrator is frequently an intimate partner. Date rapes, forced oral sex, unwanted touching – all constitute part of sexual abuse.

If you have faced any of the above, it might be time to walk out of the relationship. This is not always easy but try talking to someone you trust – a friend, sibling or trustworthy adult. And always remember – IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT.

We hope this article helps you! Do leave your thoughts in the comments below. For more articles by our Sexual Wellness Expert Pallavi Barnwal, check out Healthy Reads or tune in to her LIVE sessions on GOQii Play. You can also connect with her on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/pallavibarnwalcoach

#BeTheForce 

Disclaimer: Reader discretion is advised. This content is for an older, mature audience who seek to improve their health and wellness. GOQii is not responsible for any misrepresentation of this information.

Search

Recent Posts

  • Foods to Boost Memory Power
  • Healthy Eating: Sweet Potato and Chickpea Tikkis
  • 5 Simple Lifestyle Changes To Manage Hypertension
  • When Is The Best Time To Eat Almonds?
  • What Alkaline Water Does To Your Body!

Stay Updated

Archives

  • March 2023 (26)
  • February 2023 (28)
  • January 2023 (31)
  • December 2022 (31)
  • November 2022 (30)
  • October 2022 (31)
  • September 2022 (30)
  • August 2022 (31)
  • July 2022 (30)
  • June 2022 (30)
  • May 2022 (30)
  • April 2022 (29)
  • March 2022 (27)
  • February 2022 (22)
  • January 2022 (23)
  • December 2021 (18)
  • November 2021 (17)
  • October 2021 (14)
  • September 2021 (12)
  • August 2021 (15)
  • July 2021 (18)
  • June 2021 (19)
  • May 2021 (17)
  • April 2021 (16)
  • March 2021 (16)
  • February 2021 (9)
  • January 2021 (10)
  • December 2020 (9)
  • November 2020 (5)
  • October 2020 (12)
  • September 2020 (9)
  • August 2020 (6)
  • July 2020 (3)
  • June 2020 (8)
  • May 2020 (12)
  • April 2020 (14)
  • March 2020 (13)
  • February 2020 (6)
  • January 2020 (5)
  • December 2019 (7)
  • November 2019 (9)
  • October 2019 (9)
  • September 2019 (6)
  • August 2019 (9)
  • July 2019 (12)
  • June 2019 (13)
  • May 2019 (9)
  • April 2019 (13)
  • March 2019 (13)
  • February 2019 (14)
  • January 2019 (19)
  • December 2018 (13)
  • November 2018 (9)
  • October 2018 (11)
  • September 2018 (11)
  • August 2018 (23)
  • July 2018 (13)
  • June 2018 (22)
  • May 2018 (16)
  • April 2018 (23)
  • March 2018 (17)
  • February 2018 (13)
  • January 2018 (18)
  • December 2017 (13)
  • November 2017 (25)
  • October 2017 (21)
  • September 2017 (20)
  • August 2017 (7)
  • July 2017 (11)
  • June 2017 (12)
  • May 2017 (14)
  • April 2017 (9)
  • March 2017 (6)
  • February 2017 (7)
  • January 2017 (11)
  • December 2016 (10)
  • November 2016 (8)
  • October 2016 (9)
  • September 2016 (7)
  • August 2016 (12)
  • July 2016 (10)
  • June 2016 (10)
  • May 2016 (12)
  • April 2016 (17)
  • March 2016 (18)
  • February 2016 (8)
  • January 2016 (6)
  • December 2015 (4)
  • November 2015 (9)
  • October 2015 (8)
  • September 2015 (10)
  • August 2015 (13)
  • July 2015 (10)
  • June 2015 (12)
  • May 2015 (9)
  • April 2015 (13)
  • March 2015 (9)
  • February 2015 (6)
  • January 2015 (12)
  • December 2014 (14)
  • November 2014 (11)
  • October 2014 (6)
  • September 2014 (14)
  • August 2014 (14)
  • July 2014 (7)
  • June 2014 (3)
  • May 2014 (8)
  • April 2014 (5)
Digvijay Singh

How Digvijay Singh Reversed Chronic BP Issues & Lost Weight With GOQii

Do you feel that no matter what you do, you’re unable to lose weight? You go for walks, meditate and even eat right but that scale doesn’t budge while lifestyle diseases plague you. Our Player Digvijay Singh was stuck in a similar predicament.  Life Before … [Read More...]

Ananda Mukherjee Health Story

From Terminal Illness To Complete Wellness! Ananda Mukherjee Health Story

We’ve always advocated that lifestyle diseases can be managed with a balanced, healthy and holistic lifestyle but can they also help you manage a terminal condition? Our Player Ananda Mukherjee, with help from his GOQii Coach, was able to battle such a condition. Here’s how his inspirational Health Story unfolded. Going From Slender To Overweight  […]

Rishikesh Ayre

The Right Guidance With Gradual Change – Rishikesh Ayre User Journey

Do you want to make a positive lifestyle change but don’t know how? Does it take every ounce of motivation for you to move? Do you need a nudge in the right direction? These are all valid questions and you’re not alone. Sometimes, we want to begin something new but don’t know where to start. […]

Venkatrao Alaparthi Loses 20kg With Guidance From His GOQii Coach

Venkatrao Alaparthi Loses 20kg With Guidance From His GOQii Coach

While earning a good livelihood is important, is it taking more life out of living? Long working hours, being seated most of the time with no physical activity and bad eating habits can take a toll on your health over a period of time. If this sounds relatable, you might have a lot in common […]

  • HOME
  • HEALTHY LIVING
  • FITNESS
  • HEALTHY RECIPES
  • USER STORIES
  • KARMA
  • BUY GOQii

Copyright ©2016 GOQii